You Might Be a Lawyer if...
* you believe that a forty words' sentence is a short one.
* you have a daughter named Sue and a son named Bill.
* you can look at a contract and instantly tell whether it's verbal or written.
* your other car is a BMW.
* when you look in a mirror, you see a lawyer.
* when your wife says "I love you," you cross-examine her.
L-K’ers: What is your take on this? Email your opinion now to: pmusyimi@gmail.com
Tuesday, 8 July 2008
Monday, 7 July 2008
A woman's eternal punishment!
A man died and was taken to his place of eternal torment by the devil. As he passed sulfurous pits and shrieking sinners, he saw a man he recognized as a lawyer snuggling up to a beautiful woman.
"That's unfair !" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."
"Shut up!" barked the devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork. "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
L-K’ers: What is your take on this? Email your opinion now to: pmusyimi@gmail.com
"That's unfair !" he cried. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman."
"Shut up!" barked the devil, jabbing him with his pitchfork. "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"
L-K’ers: What is your take on this? Email your opinion now to: pmusyimi@gmail.com
Friday, 4 July 2008
When a personal cheque does it
An old man was on his death bed. He wanted badly to take some of his money with him. He called his priest, his doctor and his lawyer to his bedside. "Here's $30,000 cash to be held by each of you. I trust you to put this in my coffin when I die so I can take all my money with me."
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, "I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery."
"Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000."
The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
L-K’ers: What is your take on this? Email your opinion now to: pmusyimi@gmail.com
At the funeral, each man put an envelope in the coffin. Riding away in a limousine, the priest suddenly broke into tears and confessed, "I had only put $20,000 into the envelope because I needed $10,000 for a new baptistery."
"Well, since we're confiding in each other," said the doctor, "I only put $10,000 in the envelope because we needed a new machine at the hospital which cost $20,000."
The lawyer was aghast. "I'm ashamed of both of you," he exclaimed. "I want it known that when I put my envelope in that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."
L-K’ers: What is your take on this? Email your opinion now to: pmusyimi@gmail.com
Thursday, 3 July 2008
When two people were buried together!
A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother.
On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
L-K’ers: What is your take on this? Email your opinion now to: pmusyimi@gmail.com
On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"
"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
"The tombstone back there said 'Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.'"
L-K’ers: What is your take on this? Email your opinion now to: pmusyimi@gmail.com
Wednesday, 2 July 2008
An annoying lawyer will ask it!
A witness to an automobile accident was testifying. The lawyer asked him, "Did you actually see the accident?"
The witness: "Yes, sir."
The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?"
The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches."
The lawyer (thinking he'd trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?"
The witness: "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me that question."
L-K’ers: What is your take on this? Email your opinion now to: pmusyimi@gmail.com
The witness: "Yes, sir."
The lawyer: "How far away were you when the accident happened?"
The witness: "Thirty-one feet, six and one quarter inches."
The lawyer (thinking he'd trap the witness): "Well, sir, will you tell the jury how you knew it was exactly that distance?"
The witness: "Because when the accident happened I took out a tape and measured it. I knew some annoying lawyer would ask me that question."
L-K’ers: What is your take on this? Email your opinion now to: pmusyimi@gmail.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)